To Retribution: When there's no going back Page 3

  'Charming,' said Suze. 'Your spelling sucks by the way. Wankers,' she hissed.

  She picked up a small picture which was lying amongst the ripped linoleum and debris. It was black and white, turned sepia with age. She wiped the cracked glass with the sleeve of her hoodie. A mother and child smiling at the photographer, dressed formally in lace collars and tight buttons. She carefully removed the broken frame and turned the picture over. On the back was written in a delicate script, Poznan, 1954, Irenka i Krystyna. Wow! She gently placed the photograph in the inside pocket of her jacket and moved through to the kitchen.

  'It's like someone's up and left this place in a hurry. Look,' said Suze, as she opened one of the cupboards. 'There are cans, boxes, all kinds of stuff,' she said, picking up a packet of Delicje biscuits and studying them. 'Long past their sell by date. Ah well.'

  'Edible? Any of it?' Jake asked.

  'I'm pretty sure the cans will be fine. We've got baked beans, peas, ham, peaches...not bad. All we need now is a can opener.' She continued to rummage through the drawers and cupboards, feeling strangely intrusive. 'Shit!' she screeched as a swarm of bluebottles buzzed out from under the sink. 'Disgusting. Something must have died under there. Bloody stinks.'

  'Of what?'

  'I have no idea. Something dead!' she said, slamming the door shut again.'If you want to investigate further be my guest.'

  'Nah, you're all right.'

  'Oh brilliant! They had a dog too,' she said, as she opened the door to a large sack of dried dog food. She found a couple of bowls and filled one with water, the other with food. 'Here you go, Yoko,' she said, putting them on the floor for her. It was gone in seconds. One of the drawers held cutlery, including a can opener. She wiped the dust from the lids of the cans, opened them and spooned their contents into bowls for her and Jake. Everyone's hunger sated, they made their way upstairs and curled up on the double bed in one of the bedrooms. Suze's head on Jake's shoulder. Yoko across Suze's legs. Nightmares filled her head. She could see her parents' house being trashed. She was hiding under a table, then behind a door, watching, screaming but making no sound. She watched as her father burned; as her mother was shot. She saw it all and did nothing.

  7

  When Suze awoke she was dripping with sweat. She felt sick. A faint memory of her nightmare clung on to her consciousness; the terror still there, the images thankfully fading. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was. She looked across at Jake lying beside her. 'Are you awake?' she asked.

  'Yeah. Have been for a while but didn't want to wake you. Just glad you managed to drop off eventually. Sounded like you were having some pretty heavy dreams.'

  'Sorry. Did I disturb you?'

  'Don't be silly. It's nothing.'

  She sat up and twisted her head from side to side. 'Shit, my neck's stiff.' It clicked. 'Oh,' she complained, as she reached behind her head and tried to rub the pain away.

  'Here.' Jake positioned his legs either side of her and gently massaged her. He could feel the knots in her neck, the tension in her shoulders. He worked at them until his fingers ached. 'Better?'

  'Oh, that's brilliant. Thanks.' She turned and smiled at him.

  He stroked the side of her face, searching her eyes, trying to read her. 'I would do anything to ease the pain you must be feeling right now. To make things right again.'

  'I know,' she said, as she kissed him gently on the cheek, 'I know you would.' She glanced out of the window at the late afternoon sky, the sun fiercely fighting for survival. 'It'll be getting dark again soon. I think we should get moving fairly quickly.'

  'You don't want to hang on here for a bit? Get ourselves together?' Jake asked.

  'Nope. It's too close and too obvious. If they are looking for us I'm pretty sure empty houses in the area will be high up on their list.'

  'I guess. Okay, let's get organised then. We could do with a change of appearance, couldn't we? I wonder if they left any clothes behind?' he said, as he slid open the mirrored wardrobe door. Nothing.

  They checked the other bedrooms, looking in chests of drawers, wardrobes and cupboards. Some baby clothes had been left, some children's books and toys. The cot was neatly made. It's tiny quilt and pillow hand embroidered with flowers and the name Katya. Suze turned away and closed the door behind her.

  'What about the creepy cupboard under the stairs?' Jake asked, putting on a silly voice, trying to lighten her mood, bring another smile to her face.

  'Might as well take a look,' she replied, with the smile he sought.

  Jake opened the lopsided wooden door with a squeak. 'Well, what d'you know, a couple of Barbour jackets. Nice and respectable. And a flat cap. What do you reckon?' Jake said, throwing one jacket at her and donning the other and the cap.

  'We could almost pass for a couple of respectable country folk,' she said. 'A change of hair would help too. I wonder...' She checked the bathroom cupboard and returned brandishing scissors and peroxide. 'Brilliant. Can you chop it all off for me?'

  'Oh no...I'll do something horrible. I can't.'

  'Don't be stupid. It's either that or I do it myself.'

  'Okay. Come here then,' he said, sighing. 'Fuck.'

  'You might find it easier if you can stop your hands from shaking,' she said.

  'It's your fault. I'm terrified of what you might do to me if I screw up.' The truth was he hated watching her trademark long black hair falling to the floor.

  'Idiot!' she said with a smile.

  He began, tentatively snip, snipping, inch by inch.

  'Give me them,' she demanded, her hand outstretched. She hacked off a handful to just above her shoulders. 'There! Does that make it a bit easier for you?'

  'Shit. If you insist, then...'

  She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and barely recognised herself. A short blond bob, no face jewellery. 'Wow!'

  'You know, it suits you.'

  'Yeah, yeah,' she said sarcastically, running her fingers through her hair and ruffling it. 'Still, I don't look like me any more, so that's good.'

  'That you don't.'

  Yoko started barking 'Shhh. Yoko. No!' Suze whispered urgently. 'Here!'

  Yoko padded into the bathroom. Her hackles raised, her tail tight and low.

  'What the fuck?' Jake mumbled. He tentatively peered out of the little window which opened onto the fields at the back of the house.

  He could see nothing but open countryside.

  8

  The back door opened with a clatter, as it bounced off the wall. Several pairs of heavy feet tramped into the house. Suze and Jake froze, staring at each other. Eyes frightened wide.

  'Woo hoo. Party!' boomed from downstairs. The voice sounded young. Male. The words slurred and over excited.

  'Fuckin' ace. Fuck. Yeah! Let's get to it!' another male.

  'Get those fuckin' knickers fuckin' right off her,' a third male.

  A muffled squeal. Kicking. A slap.

  'Shut the fuck up!'

  Another slap.

  Suze and Jake stood ensnared by fear, disbelieving, hiding behind the door.

  'Come fuckin' here ye fuckin' foreign tart ye.'

  They could hear thumps and groans and heavy breathing, then grunts of ecstasy mixed with a concoction of obscenities. The smash of a bottle breaking. Laughter. Shouting. Stumbling. Swearing. The hiss of a spray can. Furniture being turned over.

  Suze was crouched down beside Yoko stroking her, trying to keep her calm. 'It's okay girl,' she whispered repeatedly, 'shhhh.'

  'Gang bang! My fuckin' turn. Right. Oh yeah, oh yeah.'

  No, no this isn't happening. No. I won't...

  'Jake,' Suze whispered, 'we have to do something!'

  He nodded.

  'Bastards,' she screamed, as she charged down the stairs, scissors held high. Yoko ran barking at her side. 'Leave her alone. Leave her a fucking lone!'

  She lunged at the one on the girl, sticking the scissors into his back. A boot landed in her side. Y
oko jumped at his leg snarling and biting.

  'Get your fuckin' dog off!' Her teeth had sunk in and she wasn't letting go.

  Jake had a piece of chair which he swung at the closest youth, then the other, aiming for their heads.

  The third ran off. 'I'm fuckin' out of here. They're fuckin' mental.'

  'You,' the second one pointed at Suze as he followed, 'you're fuckin' next!'

  They ran off, shouting and cursing, threatening their revenge.

  Suze sat holding the girl, rocking her back and forth, stroking her dirty blonde hair. 'Oh God. Are you okay?' she was asking through tears.

  Jake pulled back the curtains to check they had left.

  'Ah shit, those bastards,' the girl said, wiping her nose on the back of her hand, looking at the floor. 'They do this like we just animal,' she spat on the floor, 'Nobody care. Nobody.'

  Suze wrapped her arms around her. The girl broke into deep lunging sobs. 'Shhh. It's okay. It's okay. They've gone,' Suze said, looking across at Jake for confirmation.

  He nodded his head. 'Yeah, it's all clear.'

  'I'm Suze. That's Jake. And you?'

  She looked up. Her face was bruised, her lip cut. The rip in her dress revealed older bruises, scratches and burns. She pulled at the faded material in an attempt to cover herself. 'Magda. I Magda.'

  'Okay, Magda. Come on. Lets get you cleaned up,' Suze said, helping her up and leading her to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, undressed Magda and helped her in. The girl slumped to the ground and sat under the heavy stream of water, shaking. 'It's okay. Here,' Suze said, handing her a piece of cracked soap. 'Wash it all away.'

  Jake knocked at the door and called through 'Hey, sorry but we need to get out of here like soon. They might come back and, yeah we should move.'

  'Right,' Suze called back. 'Magda. Come on love. Let's get you dressed, okay? Do you live near here?'

  'I work for men at farm. Not far. Is just there.' She pointed back in the direction they had just come from. 'Is five, ten minutes.'

  'Do you know those boys who attacked you?'

  'Sure, I know. Is normal. They live farm also. They like crazy people. Shout and beat and rape. Is normal.'

  'Why do you stay?' Suze asked.

  'What I do? No papers. No money. I nothing. I no-one. If any leaves others punished. So we stay. What else we do, huh?'

  'But you can't just go back....to that? There must be something we can do. Something to help.'

  'No. You go. You has problems many. I see this. You go.'

  'Maybe but, shit. We can't just leave you,' said Jake, as he threw some food into a couple of bags.

  'You come? You help? They kill. Is their way. You go. I go. Is all,' Magda said, as she headed back towards the farm. 'You good people. God with you.'

  They pulled what was left of the door behind them and ran out into the night.

  'Why?' Suze asked.

  'I dunno. People like that are...' He shook his head, 'I dunno.'

  8

  They kept to the hedgerows, high and protective, all night. The drone of a helicopter drew further into the distance leaving the gentle sounds of the night to reclaim their rightful place. They could again hear the rustles of the night creatures all around. The heavy beating of a large bird's wing. The call of an owl screeching its presence from a distant tree. The scurry of its prey at their feet. Dawn began to announce its arrival too early through the song of a plaintive bird, swelling within minutes to a choral cacophony.

  'It's so beautiful,' said Suze, 'I used to love waking up to this. Dad would put the tent up in the back garden and I'd sleep out most of the summer. It was so cool,' she smiled. 'Like I had my own private domain.'

  'For me, that was summers at our country house in Estonia,' Jake said in reply.

  'You had a country house!'

  'Yeah. Not like you have over here. Nothing posh. Most people had them. Little wooden houses in the middle of nowhere. No electricity, no running water. Just a glorified shed really, with a bit of land and a well. It was total freedom for a few weeks every year. Good times.'

  'I was just thinking that, you know? We've been friends for what, four years now?'

  'Must be, yeah. Since uni.' He remembered it well. The first time he'd seen her he was struck by the air of confidence she seemed to exude. She didn't bother with make up or fashion. Her look was hers – casual, alternative and just a bit funky. She refused labels, disliked designers and took pleasure in undermining the establishment at every opportunity. She debated with the lecturers, questioned them, and was respected for it. He respected her for it.

  'And we've never really told each other much about our histories, have we? I mean, how much do we actually know about each other? It's all been study and politics, going out for a drink, a laugh, but where we come from? What made us, us? Not much.'

  'Is this what the dawn chorus does to you then? Make you all philosophical?' he asked, teasingly.

  'I'm serious!' she slapped his arm. 'I mean who are you? Jake the cool dude. Jake the party guy. Jake the political machine. I don't know Jake. I just don't know,' she said, her voice beginning to break.

  'I'm not trying to avoid anything, Suze, but it's getting light. Can we talk about this later?' he asked, putting his arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze. 'Right now we need to think about somewhere to disappear for the day. Any ideas?'

  'I don't know. Last night has put me right off any empty houses. Maybe we should just try and make do with something in the woods over there?' she said, pointing across the field to a distant outline of trees.

  'Okay. Might as well. Race you across,' he said, laughing and beginning to run. 'Last one there buys the round.'

  'You idiot!' she laughed. 'And that's cheating.'

  She chased him across the field of grass, heavy with dew. Cattle lazily turned their heads then continued nibbling, sensing no danger. She caught up with him just before the woods began. She lunged at his ankles and brought him to the ground with a thud.

  'Bitch!' he laughed.

  'Cheat!' she said, pushing down on his back and running off into the agreeably dense woods. Yoko at her heels.

  She sat against the melancholic trunk of a fallen tree. Its impressive girth announcing the great age it had reached prior to its demise. Running her fingers along its gnarly bark she picked at pieces of moss, enjoying the earthy smell it gave off. She remembered her father telling her how the moss on a tree could help you find your bearings if you were lost, but she had forgotten how. How many seemingly irrelevant moments had now become so very precious?

  'Here's as good as anywhere, I reckon,' Jake said, walking around the roots and inspecting the cavernous hole they had left in the ground. 'We could cover all this with branches and leaves and we'll have a pretty cool lean to.'

  They collected a decent amount of wood from the forest floor, then gathered ivy, moss and leaves. It didn't take them long to finish their task, weaving ivy in and out of the branches to hold them in place and offer some camouflage.

  'Well done you. I'm impressed!' Suze said, as she climbed into the hiding place, settling herself into a niche he had lined with moss for them, on top of which she placed their sleeping bags. 'Quite the boy scout, aren't you?'

  'Actually it was the Internet. This is the first time I've put theory into practice. It's been a long held ambition.'

  'Really?'

  'Really!'

  'Well, I am truly impressed. Come. Sit,' she said, patting the space beside her.

  He joined her, lifting his arm to make a rest for her head, which she accepted. She could feel his heart thumping, blood pulsing. It felt safe. It felt good.

  'So, what would you like to know?' Jake asked. 'About the real me?'

  'Your childhood. Family. Stuff like that.' She was thinking about the pictures she'd seen, the letter. She hated not knowing. It was what made her good at her job. Questions and more questions. Digging away like a badly behaved terrier.'

  'Okay
, but you likewise, yeah?'

  'Of course.'

  'Well, Russian dad, English mum, you know already.'

  'Yes, but there must be a story there. How did they meet?'

  'Mum decided that she wanted to travel a bit after uni so she took a course in teaching English as a foreign language and went off to Tallinn.'

  'Cool!'

  'Yeah. Anyway she was teaching English to a group of programmers from Skype and Dad was one of her students. Apparently he was really annoying; always questioning her and going off on grammatical rights and wrongs. She couldn't stand him to begin with. Thought he was arrogant. After the course finished he asked her if she'd take him on as a private student, one to one. She was going to say no but he was offering good money and she said he had a killer smile.'

  Suze laughed, 'Yeah. I can see that.'

  He blushed and played with the braided leather around his wrist. 'So, they started dating, moved in together pretty quickly and then my sister and I came along.'

  'Sister? Ah. The girl in the pictures? In your lock up?'

  'Yeah. Ilona. She was two years older than me. She was killed by some drunken idiot behind a wheel.'

  'Oh my God. I am so sorry. I had no idea.'

  'She was the reason we moved over here. Mum was really struggling with it and Dad, well, he'd do anything for her and jobs in I.T. are mobile so we moved to London. That was, what, eight years ago now. I was brought up bilingual, well, trilingual actually, English, Russian and Estonian, so fitting in at school wasn't too difficult. Jakov became Jake and we took Mum's surname just to make it easier. Dad didn't like doing it, heritage and all that but, I guess he could sense what was coming. Smart guy.

  Mum still struggled though. She'd started drinking after Ilona's death and it just got worse when we moved here. It was bad. I mean really bad. She'd become this unrecognisable nasty person, shouting and screaming at me and Dad. Saying stuff like she wished it had been one of us instead of Ilona, you know? Hard times.' He became silent and shook his head, biting his lip, chewing at it.